Kensington 5 Button Wireless Optical Pilot Mouse

You pampered kids today, I swear to God. You have no idea how easy you have it. In my day, we didn't have all these fancy full-color monitors and MP3s and IMs and wireless networks. We measured our connection speed in baud, not ma-bips, whatever they are. If monochrome was good enough for IBM, by God, it was good enough for us. You better believe, if we ever burned a CD in those days, the house would fill with noxious fumes and our parents would ground us from logging onto our favorite BBSes.

I tell you, anyone in my computer club would have strangled a squirrel with our bare hands for something like the Kensington 5-Button Wireless Optical Pilot Mouse. That's right – five buttons, which is two more than the number of brain cells in your average teenager today. We were lucky if our mice had one button, and here these numbskulls are running around with five! No wonder they say the Internet's such a dangerous place.

But that ain't the half of it. It's wireless – meaning, you got it, no wires – and optical, so there's no mouse ball to get all gunked up with hair, dead skin cells, and Frito crumbs. Where's the fun in that? They call it "Quick RF wireless technology" and "DiamondEye optical technology," but I call it "computing for poseurs." Do these young turds today deserve that kind of smooth movement and precise control? Like hell they do!

And let's not even get started on the music these days. Gnarls Barkley? You gotta be kidding me! Who is that, one of those puppets off Sesame Street? Now, the Fixx…Level 42…Talk Talk…that was some real music, sonny!

Warranty: 5 years

Features:

• DiamondEye optical technology responds to your fastest movements with accurate tracking and precise guidance
• Interference-free Quick RF wireless technology prevents annoying cursor hesitation to provide ultra-smooth movement and precise control
• Provides the convenience of 4 programmable mouse buttons and a scroll wheel to reduce repetitive tasks to a single click
• Backed by a five-year manufacturer's warranty and free technical support
• Ergonomically-designed shape that provides the ultimate comfort for right-handed users, with rubber fin grips
• Compatibility: PC, Mac
• System requirements (PC): Windows 98/Me/2000/XP with USB port, or Windows 98/Me/NT/2000/XP with PS/2 compatible mouse port
• System requirements (Mac): Mac OS X (10.1.5) or later; available USB port
• Connectivity: Wireless
• Interface: USB, PS/2
• Movement detection: Optical
• Receiver cord length: 6 feet

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Thu, 16 Nov 2006 19:41:04 GMT

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