Random Crap

Remember to order THREE!

Just in case there are still a few pennies rattling around in your checking account after the carnage of the Woot-Off, we present yet another completely unnecessary Bag O' Crap! We're glad so many of you still clamor for this bundle of dollar-store rejects, despite what that says about the hollow state of the human spirit today.

Take it from us: you don't want this junk. We sure as hell don't, and we've seen it. You'd be better off with just about anything from a 99-cent value menu near you. But if you perversely insist on flushing your cash down our toilet, keep in mind:

1. WHEN YOU ORDER THIS ITEM, YOU'LL GET ONE BAG WITH (up to) THREE CRAPS IN IT.

2. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR SELECTING THE QUANTITY OF THREE WHEN YOU ORDER.

3. YOU WILL WASTE FREIGHT IF YOU ORDER FEWER THAN THREE.

Let's review. One bag. However many craps you choose, up to three. So make it three. That's THREE! 3! Tres! Drei! San! Trois!

We can't make this any clearer. If you're seized by fits of involuntary mouse-clicking and you inadvertently select less than three, you can try emailing service@woot.com. Once they're finished laughing at you, maybe they'll amend your order. Probably not.

But what does it matter, really? Three times crap still equals crap.

THE HOLY CRAP COMMANDMENTS v2.0:

I. Thou shalt expect nothing beyond one bag of some kind and your chosen quantity of crappy items (which should be THREE).

II. Thou shalt not whine and complain when some people's crap turns out to be nicer than yours.

III. Thou shalt take a moment to consider whether you might be better off just not buying this crap.

IV. Thou shalt not order just one crap and blame it on anything but your own inattention.

V. To paraphrase Stephen Stills, shalt thou not get the crap you want, want the crap you get.

Discuss this product

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 21:01:04 GMT

* Attachment, 1452K audio/mpeg: Download

---

Source: http://www.woot.com/Blog/BlogEntry.aspx?BlogEntryId=1745
To unsubscribe from this feed, click here
To manage other subscriptions, click here

Powered by RssFwd
Hosting sponsored by Publicaster - Powerful Email Marketing Solutions by Blue Sky Factory, Inc